


Some Sunny Day

by kumjongin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Oh Sehun, Denial of Feelings, Drinking, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Explicit Sex, Not too bad but it’s there, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, chanxing are meddlesome roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23003227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumjongin/pseuds/kumjongin
Summary: In which two former hookup partners meet again after years.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 55
Kudos: 239
Collections: Ultimate Top Kim Jongin Fic Fest 2019





	Some Sunny Day

Jongin plucked a glass from a passing waiter, draining the champagne in a desperate gulp. Company parties were the bane of his existence, with the unnecessary pomp and everyone trying to impress one another. It was all so fake, and everyone was on edge to keep up appearances and keep their jokes easily digestible. He hated it. But he smiled along with the rest. This particular party was a celebratory merger with another company, but the details never mattered much to him. Maybe one day when it concerned him, but he was far away from that.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of someone vaguely familiar, and he turned to watch. He could only see him from behind, with his broad shoulders and narrow waist leading to a beautifully curved ass. He hummed quietly, setting the glass down on one of the tables to be picked up later. 

As soon as he turned, his handsome face finally clear, Jongin was flooded with memories. Oh Sehun.

Jongin walked over to where he stood, glancing down at his own shoes. “Well, I didn’t expect to see you here of all places,” he said, voice light and friendly.

Sehun glanced up, seeming confused for the briefest of moments until his gaze landed on Jongin. “Oh. Jongin. Yeah, it’s been a while I guess,” he said, “I guess you work for…?”

Jongin nodded, “Yeah, I’m with XK. You look good, how long has it been?” He felt a little silly, like he was trying too hard. They were still supposed to be professional, but it was true. Sehun looked amazing, his face no longer carried the trace amounts of baby fat it had in high school and left him looking sharp and angular. He’d grown his hair longer, and it hung in a way that framed his face better. And he seemed to have gotten even taller and broader than he remembered.

“Ah...has to be at least six or seven years. You do too, though, look good, I mean.”

—

He pinned Sehun against the door, his hands held over his head as his lips chased after his neck. He tasted the same, though he wondered why he’d even remember that. Sehun arched into him, fingers threading through Jongin’s hair and pulling him in closer.

Jongin’s hands ran along his body, feeling the muscles that had developed over the years. “You’re so sexy…” he breathed out quietly, groping his ass.

Sehun moaned lowly in the back of his throat, “Less talking.”

He couldn’t help but huff a quiet laugh, and soon enough their clothes were strewn on the ground, and Sehun was spread out on Jongin’s bed. It had been years since they’d last been together, yet Jongin was glad that he remembered just the ways that Sehun liked to be touched. And Sehun was even more amazing, the years granting him experience to make Jongin feel like he was going crazy. 

As he filled Sehun, his head spun with desire and the sounds the other was making. He held him close, feeling his hot breath fanning over his skin and he kissed him until he swallowed his moans. They brought each other over the edge together, and Jongin was left gasping and clinging to Sehun’s sweat-slicked skin.

Sehun swept tissues over his skin, cleaning himself off and brushing away Jongin’s hand when he offered to assist. As soon as the tissues dropped in the trash, he was out of the bed and pulling on his clothes.

“You don’t have to run, you know,” he said quietly.

“I can’t stay,” was all Sehun said.

And suddenly he was gone. Just like that.

—

“God, this is vile,” Jongin grimaced at the taste of the alcohol, setting his shot glass down again. 

Chanyeol laughed. “Sorry it isn’t to your refined palate,” Chanyeol teased, tossing back another drink.

Jongin snorted and elbowed him in the ribs. It was a Friday night, and he was glad to have finished a project that had been bothering him for the past month. He and Chanyeol had started working at the company around the same time, and Chanyeol had a habit of trying to become friends with everyone. He glanced around the bar, surveying if anyone caught his eye, when suddenly there was Sehun again. 

He frowned a little, watching for a moment more to figure out if he’d already had one too many or if he did run into him again. Sehun’s lips curved upward in a hint of a smile, and that was enough confirmation. Jongin raised his drink in greeting.

“Ooh, who’s the lucky twink tonight?”

Jongin shot him a glare, turning to ignore Sehun for a moment as he looked at his friend. “Shut up. And no...I mean, he and I used to have a thing in high school. I saw him at that company thing, how funny to see him again.”

Chanyeol hummed, “A boyfriend?”

“No…” Jongin licked his lips, “more like a friend with benefits. Long story. I should go say hi in a minute.” He shrugged.

He remembered the way that Sehun had always been so sweet, and the way that they had always made each other smile. It had all started one night when they were the only ones in the library after school, and Jongin had struck up a conversation because he thought Sehun was attractive. Sehun had been hesitant to talk to him at first, but after Jongin struck up a few bad jokes, he had managed to wear him down enough to smile. Jongin had been the one to make the move, kissing Sehun across the table. And that was how it all began, the many nights spent at each others houses, claiming to work on homework when they were hurriedly seeking release under the covers. But it had all come to an abrupt end when Sehun confessed that he’d fallen for Jongin, and wanted to be more than just a hookup. Jongin could still remember the look on his face when he told Sehun that they shouldn’t see each other at all anymore after that, that it would be too complicated.

Ignoring Chanyeol’s raised eyebrows, Jongin stood and walked over to where Sehun was, leaning against the bar with his hip cocked to the side. “Are you following me?” he asked, a teasing smile on his lips.

Sehun snorted, hardly glancing up from his phone. “Definitely, your life is just so fascinating. Who’s that guy?” this time he glanced to where Chanyeol was still hammering back tequila.

“Ah, friend from work. Why? You jealous?”

“Yeah, right,” Sehun finally put his phone in his pocket, only to glare at Jongin. 

Jongin laughed. “Come on, let me buy you a drink. You here alone?”

“I wasn’t, but my friend ditched me to get some dick. I guess I’ll settle for your company,” he said, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

“ _ Ouch _ . How can you be so cruel?” he asked, clutching his chest dramatically.

This time Sehun did manage a laugh. “Why don’t we just forget the charade and go back to your place?”

Jongin smiled his agreement, leading Sehun out of the bar with a hand placed on the small of his back. He shot Chanyeol a wink, who gave him a thumbs up.

—

“Sehun...I missed you,” Jongin said, gasping for air as they both came down from their high. He reached out, brushing sweaty locks away from Sehun’s eyes. He looked so beautiful laying underneath him, just like he always had.

“Get off,” Sehun said, though his lips curved up in a hint of amusement.

Jongin hummed, and carefully removed himself from him. “You don’t have to go.”

Sehun glanced at him, but just like that he was out of his bed and grabbing his pants. “I have something I have to do. But maybe we’ll see each other again, who knows?” he said, shrugging.

“Count on it.”

—

“Are you following me?” Sehun asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jongin laughed. “Happy coincidence, I promise. Maybe fate wants us to see each other again.”

It was late afternoon, Jongin had just gotten off of work and was getting a coffee at the place just down the street when he saw Sehun, looking brooding as he waited in line.

He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t say anything either until they were at the counter. His only reaction came a moment later when Jongin insisted on paying for him, a strange sort of expression passing over his face that Jongin couldn’t quite name.

“We can’t fuck right now, you know. I have plans,” Sehun said, watching Jongin over his cup as he took a drink.

“Uh, what?” Jongin paused for a moment before letting out a quiet laugh, “Hey, come on. We’re friends, aren’t we? We don’t have to have sex for us to hang out.”

There was another one of those unreadable expressions on Sehun’s face. “Yeah...sure, I was just letting you know in case you got any ideas.”

—

Everything truly began again when Sehun began texting Jongin to meet up. At first it was just to see if they’d be at the same place again, where they would inevitably end up going back to Jongin’s. After a few times, though, they cut out the pretense and Sehun would just send messages of “can I come over?” and Jongin would always say yes. 

And every time, Sehun would leave as soon as they were done. Jongin would ask if he could stay, or would remind him that he didn’t have to go so quickly, but Sehun would just shrug a shoulder and offer a cryptic sort of smile and say he had something else to do. And that was the end of it until the next text.

Sometimes they would still end up in the same places still, and would stick together as they talked about everyone around them. And Jongin couldn’t help but smile when Sehun would lean into him, listening to whatever he was trying to say. It was even better when whatever observation he had would cause Sehun to smile, he always made a note to burn that image into his mind’s eye. 

—

Sometimes they would do more than just jump into bed. Sometimes Sehun would come over and they would watch a movie, Jongin’s arm wrapped around his waist before Sehun would end up kissing him or palming his crotch and the movie would be forgotten. Jongin liked those times most of all, when he could just take the time to enjoy being near Sehun and watching him out of the corner of his eye.

“Why do you stare at me so much?” Sehun asked one evening, when they were curled up together on Jongin’s couch. They had been working their way through an anime Sehun suggested, even though it was a little too gorey for Jongin’s particular tastes.

“Do I?” he asked, a little smile playing on his lips. He knew he stared, didn’t quite seem able to stop, but he wasn’t sure that Sehun had noticed.

Sehun turned away from the TV to put his attention on Jongin. “Always.”

“Sorry, you’re just so handsome, I can’t help myself. And I guess I still...can’t believe like we’ve met again, you know? It’s been so many years, and suddenly you’re back in my life. And you’ve changed, but you’re also the same, you know?” he said. Which was true, he was still trying to piece together the changes.

“You’re the exact same, Jongin…” Sehun said, but didn’t seem overly pleased to say it.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Instead of answering, however, Sehun simply leaned in and kissed him. Jongin startled a bit, but when Sehun kept kissing him insistently, he simply wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back.

This time, when Sehun got up to leave after, Jongin couldn’t deny a certain feeling of longing settling over him. He didn’t want to wait until the next text, he wanted Sehun to stay. But when he asked, as usual, Sehun said he couldn’t.

—

‘can you come over?’ Jongin texted, waiting on the response. He wasn’t even wanting sex, exactly, he just wanted to see Sehun. It had been over a week, and he had been trying to ignore that he missed him.

‘can’t. im sick’ was all he got in response.

Jongin’s teeth worried over his bottom lip at this information, but with a shrug, he decided that if Sehun wasn’t able to see him, he’d go see Sehun. They usually went to Jongin’s apartment, since Sehun lived with a roommate and he didn’t want to disturb them with his noises, as he’d put it. Jongin was more than happy, it meant that he often woke up in the mornings with Sehun’s smell still on his pillows. But one night they had gone to Sehun’s when his roommate was away, so he did know where he lived.

It was an hour later that Jongin was in front of Sehun’s door, two bags in hand. He knocked, and shortly after there was Yixing, Sehun’s roommate, standing there shirtless and like he’d just woken up. “Sup,” was all he said.

“Uh, hey. Sehun’s here, yeah?”

Yixing nodded. “He’s sick, though. Are you a boyfriend I didn’t know about?”

“Ah, no...but he told me he was sick, so I wanted to come check on him.”

“Hm, suspiciously boyfriend like anyway,” Yixing said simply, “Come on in, it’s the room on the right.”

Jongin didn’t know what to say to that, so he simply smiled a little and stepped inside. He toed off his shoes, and glanced as Yixing flopped back onto the couch, curling up under blankets. He shrugged to himself, and went to Sehun’s room. He raised a hand to knock briefly.

“Go away, Yixing, I don’t know where you put your phone,” Sehun called.

Jongin chuckled quietly, and simply opened the door. “Hey, sorry, not Yixing,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Sehun was curled up in bed, blankets half on. He looked worse for wear, with dark shadows under his eyes, and Jongin could see the faint gleen of sweat over his forehead.

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asked, blinking a few times as though trying to place Jongin.

“You said you were sick, so I came to see you. I brought you soup and bunch of medicine,” he said, a smile on his lips.

“You didn’t have to…”

“I know,” he said simply, and put the bags down on Sehun’s nightstand, which was already littered with tissues and cups of tea. “But I wanted to. This soup is some of the best when you’re sick, it’s a little bit spicy and it has a lot of healthy ingredients, so come on.”

Sehun smiled a little and shuffled on the bed, making room for Jongin. “I don’t want to get you sick, though.”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured him, and pulled out the soup container, handing it to Sehun to cradle in his lap. “Do you need me to feed you?” he teased, a smile still dancing on his lips as he watched him. To most people the sight of Sehun like this may have been offputting, with his runny nose and flushed cheeks, hair messy and unwashed, but to Jongin he was still nothing short of gorgeous. Which made him realize he was a bit fucked.

Sehun glared a little, but it had no real heat behind it as he spooned some of the soup to his lips. “I can manage. Thank you, Jongin...I really do appreciate this.”

He settled on the bed, resisting the urge to smile when Sehun pressed near him, as though he was almost supporting himself. Jongin rested his arm around him, rubbing soothing circles along his back and side. After Sehun had eaten some, he was tired, and Jongin just held him until he was fast asleep.

—

“You got it bad, man,” Chanyeol said one evening, as the three of them were all crowded around some bar.

Sehun had gone off in search of the bathroom, and Jongin glanced at his friend. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Sehun, come on. I know you, man,” he said, his usual irritating smile on his face.

Jongin scoffed, “Whatever. We’re just fucking, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve seen you around people you’re fucking, Jongin. Sure, you’re nice, but you don’t stare after them all...moony eyed. Why don’t you just ask him out?”

He paused, not exactly sure how to respond to that one. He would be lying if he said he didn’t look at Sehun differently. With other people, he would give them a usual amount of decency, but he didn’t put nearly so much emphasis on whether or not he could get that person to laugh and didn’t want to practically beg them to stay the night. He licked his lips. “I told you it was a long story before, right? We hooked up back in high school a lot, and then...it sort of got weird because he confessed he had feelings for me. I freaked out, told him we should stop so it didn’t get confusing.”

“Classic asshole move, gotcha,” Chanyeol said, amusement lacing his tone. 

Jongin elbowed him in the ribs, satisfied when Chanyeol winced. But nothing else could be said, because there was Sehun. Jongin smiled a little.

“Hey. I’m gonna go, actually,” Sehun said.

“Is something wrong?” Jongin asked, reaching to run his fingers along Sehun’s arm lightly.

“No, no, but I ran into someone. I’m gonna...go with him.”

“Oof,” Chanyeol muttered.

Jongin paused, a little taken aback. He and Sehun weren’t anything, right? There was no reason for the sudden pit to appear in his stomach, there was nothing that should have made him so annoyed all of a sudden. “Oh. Okay, sure,” was all he could choke out. He didn’t trust himself to question it further, didn’t know if he could just pretend to feel normal if he said any more than that.

Sehun watched him for a silent moment, expression neutral as he seemed to be searching for something, though Jongin had no idea what that was. Finally, a hint of a smile crossed his lips, “Sorry, you’re on your own tonight,” was all he said before turning to leave.

Jongin was silent as he watched, seeing him link up with a tall guy with broad shoulders, he couldn’t see much more of him. And just like that, they were gone.

“Uh, you okay, man?” Chanyeol asked, nudging him a little and handing him another shot.

“Yeah, of course. Like I said, we just fuck sometimes,” he said, though it didn’t sound particularly convincing even to himself. He took the shot.

Hours later, Jongin was drunk off his ass. Chanyeol was laughing at him, and Jongin felt like he was three steps behind everything. The room was spinning, and all he could think of was Sehun.

“What about Sehun?” Chanyeol asked, too close and too loud. 

Jongin frowned. Had he said something out loud? “Sehun...want Sehun...but he doesn’t want me.”

Chanyeol’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, but it felt all wrong. Like it was someone else’s hand on someone else’s shoulder. “Hey, come on, man, what’s up should get you home.”

“I want him to stay, Yeollie…”

“I know, I know. You’re kind of in love, I know. Let’s get you to bed.”

Jongin blinked a few times. Love? Was that what it was?

—

Jongin held Sehun close, pressing kisses along his jaw and over his collarbones. Sehun was still trying to catch his breath, sweaty and tired, just allowing Jongin to lave attention over him. It was a week after Sehun had gone home with that other guy, and Jongin had wanted to remind him that he was better. The sex was rougher than usual, with Jongin pressing possessive kisses and bite marks against Sehun’s skin as he fucked him. He relished the way Sehun moaned and keened into his touches, the way he moaned Jongin’s name like he couldn’t even think anything else.

“Okay, get off,” Sehun said after a moment, as Jongin was working his way to kissing his belly.

“Why?”

“I have shit to do, come on,” Sehun said, though there was an edge of amusement still present.

“Why don’t you ever stay with me, Sehun?” Jongin asked suddenly, watching Sehun closely.

There was another of those unreadable expressions. “Why should I?”

“Because I want you to,” he said. There was a sort of pit in his stomach, the kind that felt like he was on the edge of something. Unfortunately, he had remembered his drunken pining, and what he didn’t Chanyeol had been gracious enough to fill him in on. And he couldn’t shake that longing.

Sehun licked his lips, glancing away. “Don’t be weird.”

“Sehun…” Jongin uttered quietly, voice quiet and nearly pleading.

“Jongin, don’t. I don’t...I don’t know what you’re doing, but don’t try and play me.” Now Sehun’s voice went quiet, almost unsure. 

“I’m not playing you. Come on, Sehun. I know you feel it...whatever it is, I know you feel something between us. Don’t you?” He felt silly as soon as he’d said it, like he was breaking something open that couldn’t be put back together. They’d been here once before, in a lifetime long past.

Sehun froze, still not looking at Jongin. “Don’t,” was all he choked out.

“Why not?”

“You know why. Come on, Jongin. We fuck sometimes, that’s all this is. Don’t make it something more,” Sehun said, still not looking at Jongin.

Everything felt like it was slowing down. He remembered those words, but last time he’d been the one saying them. His throat was starting to dry, and he became all too aware of their nakedness in the moment.

The words had been ripped away from him, anything he could say to that died on his tongue. He just watched, as Sehun finally moved, disentangling himself from Jongin’s sheets. Jongin could only watch as Sehun pulled his clothes on, as he didn’t even look at him before he was walking out the door. Didn’t even move when he heard the sound of his apartment door closing.

—

The next week passed with no word from Sehun. Jongin texted him the day following, but no response, along with the other handful of messages he’d sent just asking if he was okay. Normally, he’d just chalk it up as a lost cause. He had gone through different hookup partners before, and some of them had ended up getting upset with him for some reason or another, and stopped responding. He never cared all that much, just moving onto the next person.

But they weren’t Sehun. He knew, had always known perhaps, that Chanyeol was right. That he’d long ago fallen for Sehun, but was too terrified to do anything about it. The first time, it had hurt, knowing that he was the reason Sehun no longer spoke to him or even smiled in his direction. But something about this time was different.

The second week was even worse. Still nothing, and Jongin had tried going every place that Sehun and he had run into each other previously, hoping that luck would be on his side long enough to get a chance to talk with him. But he never saw him.

By the third week, he was starting to give up hope.

“Come on, man, it’ll be okay. You dumped him the first time, it’s his turn I guess,” Chanyeol said, rubbing Jongin’s back lightly.

Jongin raised his head from where it had been cradled on his arms on the table just to glare. “Fuck you,” he grumbled before resuming his previous position.

“Is that an offer?” Chanyeol laughed, too loud and obnoxious.

Jongin kicked him under the table, not even raising his head to relish his pain. “What should I do? Actually be helpful this time…” he warned, still not bothering to look.

Chanyeol sighed a little, “Mm...well, why don’t you just apologize? You know where he lives.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me. I went over there, Yixing shut the door in my face,” he sighed.

“Okay...let me think about it a couple of days, alright? I’ll come up with something good.”

Jongin groaned. He didn’t have much faith in Chanyeol.

—

“Where is that asshole?” Jongin grumbled, glancing at his phone. He was supposed to be having dinner with Chanyeol, a celebratory meal for Chanyeol closing a deal he’d been working on for a while. But it wasn’t much of a surprise, Chanyeol would be late to his own funeral.

“Fuck…” came a sudden, all too familiar voice.

Jongin glanced up, and there was Sehun. He could feel his throat go dry, and he stared for a silent moment. “Sehun...hey,” he said, though he cursed himself for that being all he could come up with after weeks of not even seeing him. He wasn’t ready.

Sehun sighed, and carefully perched on the chair across from Jongin. “I think we’ve been set up. Yixing told me to meet him here for dinner, I figured I should show up since he actually got out of the house for once.”

A faint smile twitched at his lips, and he nodded. “Yeah, I was supposed to meet Chanyeol...I guess we’ve been lied to.” He made a mental note to thank Chanyeol later, and apologize for doubting him.

“Listen, Jongin...I’m sorry for ignoring you. I didn’t know what to say after what happened,” Sehun said, fiddling with the napkin in front of him, not meeting Jongin’s gaze again.

“It’s okay...hey, why don’t we just have dinner together? We’re here, we’ve been set up, and we...probably should talk about a lot of things. I don’t want you to look like you’re about to run out of here…” he said, shuffling around in his seat a bit. Sehun’s nerves were rubbing off on him.

Sehun was quiet for a moment. “I...guess so, okay,” he agreed.

They ordered their meals when the waiter arrived, and then it was back to an uncomfortable silence. “Um, I guess I should start, then,” Jongin said. He hated this. Every other time he was with Sehun he was comfortable, he could talk about anything and everything. Half the time Sehun had to beg him to shut up so he could hear the movie or show. But he didn’t know how to do this, this was new.

“Um, okay.”

Jongin took a deep breath. “Let me just...okay, I wanted to apologize for what happened back in high school. I was an idiot, and I didn’t really...know what I was doing. You told me you liked me, and it scared me. I was just...immature, you know? I didn’t know how to be something more, I just thought we were both good with what we were.”

“Yeah. I got it wrong, I know that. You were just looking for some fun...I was just stupid,” Sehun said, shrugging.

“Hey, no, don’t say that. I was being selfish...I’m still selfish, I know that. I’m trying to be better. Because I mean...just all of this going on now, I was so excited that you came back into my life. I was scared you’d still be mad at me. I really did miss you. And I’ve missed you these past weeks.” Jongin could tell his palms were sweaty, and there was a lump in his throat even as he spoke.

Sehun watched him, carefully, face still neutral. Jongin wondered if he practiced that.

“Jongin…” Sehun sighed again, glancing away.

Their dinner arrived, and Jongin wasn’t sure if he was thankful for that or not. But it at least gave him something to fiddle with as he waited on whatever Sehun might want to say. 

“Look, I don’t know what to say, honestly. Thank you for apologizing. I don’t know what you want from me, though,” he said, fiddling with his fork.

Jongin watched him for a moment, just taking in the angular details of his face, the wary and almost nervous expression. He was so beautiful. “I want you. Not just in bed, I really want you to stay the night and I want to wake up looking at your face. I want to hold you, and I don’t want to watch you flirt with anyone else. I just...want you to only want me.”

Sehun blinked a few times. “Can we get out of here?” was all he said.

—

Jongin pressed his lips against Sehun’s, needy and hungry for as much of him as he could get. Sehun arched into him, kissing back just as desperate, hands wandering over the planes of Jongin’s body.

They’d hardly made it to his apartment before Sehun was all over him, pulling at his hair and slotting their lips together. Jongin still didn’t exactly know what it was supposed to mean, didn’t know if this was an answer in and of itself, but he knew he wanted more. Wanted everything Sehun would give him. 

Though they’d done this countless times before, Jongin couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had changed. He didn’t know if it had for Sehun, but it felt like every part of him was craving Sehun, aching for his touch. 

They moved into the bedroom, Sehun pushing Jongin onto the bed once he’d rid him of his clothes. Jongin opened his mouth to speak, but words died on his lips as Sehun took him in his mouth. He felt like he was spinning out of control, but still he ached for more.

As he lay Sehun down on the pillows, he took a quiet moment to take in the lust-blown gaze, the messed up hair, the hints of bruising dotting his collarbones and shoulders. He was perfect. Just like always. And there it was, that unnamed expression again, for just a second.

As he filled Sehun, he wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him as close as he possibly could. He kissed him over and over, relishing the quiet sounds that spilled into his mouth as they moved together. Usually their times together like this were spent with Jongin seeking release, but this time his mind only swam with thoughts of Sehun, of being so close to him and wanting to give him everything he could.

They went over the edge of pleasure together, Jongin still holding onto Sehun, almost afraid to let him go. The sounds of their heavy breathing filled the room, and Sehun’s hand cupped his face, drawing him in for another kiss. Jongin kissed him back gently, before he moved to press kisses against his cheeks and over his nose, his forehead and temple. When he kissed his eyes, however, there was an unmistakable wetness.

“Are you crying?” he asked quietly, voice hardly more than a whisper, pressing his head close to Sehun’s. 

There was silence for a moment, Sehun’s thumb brushing over Jongin’s cheekbone. “I’m...I’m sorry. I don’t know if we should have done this…” he finally said.

Jongin pulled back a little, carefully observing his face. There were still tears in his eyes, and he looked nervous. “Baby...why? I thought you wanted to be with me…”

“I do...but Jongin, I wanted to be with you for so many years. You really hurt me before. I can’t get hurt like that again.”

Jongin pressed another kiss to the corner of Sehun’s lips. “I know...and I’m sorry. I would do anything to change what happened in the past. But I’m here now. And I’m not some scared kid anymore. I knew I wanted you then, but I didn’t know how because I was a coward. I’m not anymore. I’ve lost you once, and almost again, and I never want to lose you again, Sehun. I’ve been stupid, but I see it now. It’s always been you.”

—

The morning light drifted in, bathing the room in sunlight. Jongin groaned a little, shifting away from the sun. But there was a weight on his chest, and he blinked a few times, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes.

And there was Sehun. His head resting on Jongin’s chest, fingers clutching his side. A smile settled on Jongin’s lips, watching him sleep so peacefully. Lightly, he ran a hand along his back, almost trying to convince himself Sehun hadn’t run away again. 

But there he was. Jongin leaned in, pressing a kiss to his head. Sehun didn’t move, so Jongin kissed again, fingers reaching under his chin to tilt his head toward him. He ran his fingers over his cheeks, tracing the planes of his face. When he kissed his head again, Sehun finally stirred, a quiet sound of protest leaving his lips before he opened his eyes. 

“Oh, hey,” he said, voice raspy. 

Jongin couldn’t help but smile. “Hey. It’s the morning, and I still love you. Just thought you should know.”

“You’ve said that every morning for a year.”

”And I plan to always. Happy anniversary, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Prompt #DJ40
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/kumjongin). [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/kumjongin).


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